It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
