Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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