Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
being pregnant is like rehab
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
