fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sext me about skeletons
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
