jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
