He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
