I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize