I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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