i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize