i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
