I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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