CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
