I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
