at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
