I could have mohawked her pubes.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
