"it" just moved
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
