I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm getting married
To pizza
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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