the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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