you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
