You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
