Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize