Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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