i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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