Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I will pee on everything he values.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I fill condoms, not promises.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize