4 words: hood of his car
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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