Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
