I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
