when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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