she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize