it's like iHOP with fire
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
