That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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