he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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