I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
