made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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