That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
