the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
