I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
