Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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