What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
