The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize