so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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