I smell stomach acid.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Vodka?
Forever.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
