I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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