Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
