i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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