well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
