My nipple is on Facebook.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
