The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Randomize
