Are we in a gay sports bar?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
