She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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