i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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