He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
