i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
