ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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