ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
