I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
