laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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