How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
