You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
