THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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