jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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