..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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