No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
