i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
This is the prime rib incident all over again
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
