They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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