i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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