He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
