I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
