apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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