Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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