I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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