i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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