my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
